Ask Mila

Dear Mila,

First, I would like to say that your advice column is one of my favorite parts of the newspaper. Now, here is the problem:

My younger sibling and I ride the bus home from school each day. Most days, he sneaks his iPad, and sometimes candy, onto the bus. I am worried about him. I don't believe it is good to sneak things and lie (although I lie or leave information out daily). He shares his iPad and his candy with the other people on our bus, so I believe that he has good moral character.

There is also the question of fairness of whether he should get more screen time/candy because of sneaking.

Thank you,

[censored] Also known as Question Mark

Dear [censored] Also Known As Question Mark,

Thank you for your compliment on my column! As for your sibling, I think that he should not be sneaking iPads and candy on the bus. This is a very bad habit to get into, and one of my friends from dance class will sneak her phone while we wait for it to start. I also believe that everybody lies or leaves out things, but in things like this, your parents should be concerned. How I would handle this is I would tell my sibling that he should not be doing this and if he doesn't listen I'd let my parents know what's happening. If your sibling does listen, tell him how you feel. I hope this was helpful, but if it wasn't, please let me know in person.

-Mila Lowin (They/Them)

Dear Mila,

Here is my question:

I believe that I am a bad person and that I am horrible. I don't know if this is true, but I know that I believe it and it is having negative effects on me (I believe that it also has positive effects in helping me improve, but that might not be true either). I wrote a poem to express myself. I won't write the whole thing, but here is the most important line: I have no sorrows, yet I create them to fill my emptiness. I appreciate your help. Any advice that you give will be useful, whether you know much about this topic, or you don't.

Thank you,

[censored] You can call me "Curious Tomato"

Dear Curious Tomato,

I am very sorry to hear that you believe you're a bad person. I don't feel you're a bad person based on my experiences, and please don't beat yourself up. Since it's having pessimistic outcomes on you, really try to ignore that bad voice in your head. I used to think this about myself as well, and a tactic that worked well for me was repeating a few words or a sentence that was important to me. For me, I used the phrase, "Stop, you're not worth it, leave me alone." (not to myself, to the voice in my head 😅) You could also try putting a positive affirmation somewhere you'll see it every day, like your locker or your bathroom mirror at home. If my recommended ideas don't work for you, you could try to find a different one. I really, really hope this was helpful.

-Mila Lowin (they/them) 🏳️‍🌈

P.S. That was a really poetic poem, I liked it even though it’s sad.

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